One of the leading causes of death in India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh is hypothermia. Rough back-of-the-envelope estimates tell us that without treatment one person dies from this horrible acute affliction every three minutes in the winter months (within an acceptable margin of error). In the summer months, the rate only decreases slightly to one person every 3.1416 minutes.
Unfortunately, South Asian governments choose to dedicate resources disproportionately to other ailments such as malaria, tuberculosis, infant diarrhoea, heart disease, cancer, and AIDS. This is unfortunate since experts are of the opinion that “the cold sleep is the sleep of death” (“sardi ki neend maut ki neend hoti hai” vide Ganga, Jamuna, Saraswati). With these conclusions firmly established, the Bollywood Hindi film industry has lead some trailblazing research in finding proper treatments for hypothermia. In this research article, the state-of-the-art in Bollywood hypothermia treatment for male and female patients is discussed. For the first time, exact details of how this treatment is effective are presented to the medical community.
Heat conduction obeys Fourier’s law, which states that the time rate of heat transfer through a Bollywood movie star is directly proportional to the negative gradient in the temperature of the hypothermic hero or heroine and to the area at right angles, to that gradient, through which the heat is flowing. Using the integral form of Fourier’s law, Bollywood has successfully calculated the thermal conductivity of anistropic heat-generating bodies such as movie-stars for which many Hindi movie directors have been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize in Physics.
In Figures 1 and 2, experimental details of the heat-transfer hypothesis as method of treatment of hypothermia in female and male subjects, are presented . The exact mechanism by which this treatment works is outlined in the last panel of Figure 2.
April 01. 2010.
(Hat tip on this post to Sukanya C. and Bulubhai)
Fair-use rationale for images: All images are low-resolution and used only for purposes of demonstration for no monetary gain. Copyright of original works resides with the original creators.
milkmiracle.net 
Oh this is good! Really good! Awesome way of depicting bollywood too. Belated April Fool’s Day!
Thanks. Belated April Fool’s greetings to you as well.
The pictures and the research that goes into it. am in complete awe. great stuff!
Thanks, Paushali
Heeehaw…No one use images to give a presentation of sorts better than you…Wish such presentation were part of the boring meetings we have 😉
That fourier law thing made me guffaw at once which startled my cubicle mates 😀 .t
We will all learn our lesson when they win the Nobel Prize. 😉
Brilliant, as usual.
[some typo: Heat conduction obey’s (obeys) Fourier’s law, which states that that (extra ‘that’) the time ]
Thanks and I’ve corrected the typos. Not good at copyediting my own work anymore.
Bollywood Science!!
🙂
Yep… so much information to be gleaned from Bollywood. 🙂
heheh…I couldn’t stop laughing. Physics and Bollywood…a deadly combination. You are so witty…and very unique style of writing posts.
Thanks although I may soon run out of things to write about.
Take care and thanks for reading. 🙂
ROFl that Fourier’s law hypothesis was brilliant and was too good.i can’t help but be amazed at the selection of pics too appropriate and excellent for Anirban’s Q.E.D…can i say that hahahaha
Thank you Shivani!
Anirban…sMaRt Buoy (ala Loin Ajit) and this is on two counts: first the sheer timing of the post (when we are all hot and sweaty for the wrong reasons in Kolkata) and secondly…I do love your equal opportunity presentation. Keep up the good work!
Yes, Sukanya strategically timed for the month when the mercury shoots above 40 degree C. Close your eyes and make a mental note of this: a baraf-gola with orange syrup.
Mmmm… cooling and refreshing. 🙂
Hypothermia rape=one of my LEAST favorite things about Hindi cinema. Dreadful!
You what the sleaziest part about it is? It is the I-really-had-no-other-choice-if-I-wanted-to-save-your-life undercurrent.
Methods work equally well in Hollywood. Tristan and Isolde.
Interesting! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Was looking forward to a text description of the pictures.
You caught me Gurdit…
I got lazy on that one that day after I made the pictures.
😉